Your Bearshark and You: Foraging

While they are unquestionably apex predators, capable of bringing down large prey items with ease, Bearsharks are predominantly foragers. Their ingenuity, combined with their hearty appetite, dictates that they will range far and wide in search of suitable sustenance.

Om Nom Nom

Here we see the BearShark attempting to eat a house cat.

While it’s true that your Bearshark is excellent at finding food and satisfying his hunger, the foodstuff they select for themselves may not always be what’s best for their health. It is entirely possible that your Bearshark, left to his own devices, will consume an entire box of Toffiffee, a bag of salt and vinegar Crispers or two litres of Coke in a single sitting. On one memorable occasion, my Bearshark ate a third of a jar of crunchy peanut butter with a spoon while waiting for his bread to toast. Bearsharks are not the most patient of creatures, especially when food is involved, and will often graze or forage even as their meal is being prepared or being plated.

To keep your Bearshark healthy and active, with a shiny mane and lots of energy, you must become proactive with their feeding. Providing tasty, healthy meals is a necessity. It is advisable to cook while your Bearshark is distracted by, say, a videogame, the internet or even better, while they are out of the house, so that as soon as they realize they are hungry and return to the den their food is waiting.

While your Bearshark will eat meats, fruits, vegetables and whole grains happily, the key to keeping your Bearshark happy with his diet, no matter how healthy, is Ketchup. Seriously. Your Bearshark will cover almost all meals in vast quantities of this glorious crimson concoction, everything from Kraft Dinner to steak. It is not a critique of your ability to provide or prepare food, but a necessary dietary supplement.

One Response to “Your Bearshark and You: Foraging”

  1. metalrenee

    Excessive consumption of ketchup must be an entirely male trait. I think 10% of my grocery budget goes towards ketchup every couple of weeks. Insane. Happy to see I’m not alone 🙂


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